Yesterday was CD7, which obviously makes today CD8. I had a late afternoon appointment which was REALLY nice. I got to stay through most of my shift at work. I only had to leave an hour early to make my 4 pm appointment.
Dr. Chang has been has been on vacation since last Friday. Luckily it wasn't necessary for me to be seen before she returned yesterday. I wasn't too thrilled of the idea of seeing a fill in doctor while she was out of the office. I actually look forward to seeing Dr. Chang. Don't get me wrong. I wish more than anything that I didn't have fertility problems, but she is the first doctor to actually make me feel like I’m not a freak of nature. Luckily she specializes in freaks just like me.
I had taken four shots of 100IU and I was ready to see how I was responding the second time around. I am trying to come at this month with a totally "Un-Tiffany" type attitude. I'm just going to relax and see what happens. Granted I’m only on CD8 today. But I'm going to try and get through this cycle without getting too riled up. I don't want to get nervous, or anxious, or excited. I just want to stay pretty plain about it. Just let the cards fall where they will. Last month I was sure at every appointment there would be bad news (there never was) and after the IUI I was totally convinced it worked and then totally disappointed knowing it didn't. When I didn't know a thing. Everyone knows stress on the body isn't good. Well that's a hard pill to swallow for me. I run on stress. I do my best work, stay organized, plan, clean, all running on stress. It's all I’ve ever known and I'm going to try something different this month. Notice I say Try. So far it's going well.
With the busy week with my Grandmother's funeral and family in town, I really didn't have time to even think about it. Then I woke up and it was time for the first appointment. I am going to try and keep that same approach as the days go on. I can't change what's going to happen. That's in God’s hands and boy it's hard to just live the life he has planned for me.
Dan is doing his supportive husband thing. Already getting good feelings about this month and cheering me on and making me laugh. I love that he can always stay positive and hope for the best even when it feels like that day might never come. I love my husband. He never lets this come between us. Even on the days when I think a little too long about the fact that if he had picked anyone other than me, he would have had children by now. Instead of the possibility he may never have his own biological child. He always finds a way to lift me up and make me feel hopeful and excited. I know without a doubt in my mind that without him, I would have given up a long time ago. He is my hero. He lets me melt down and be moody. Praises me for my efforts and is so supportive and I am so in love with him. Seeing how he is with me, drives me because I know he will be such a wonderful dad. Even typing that puts a smile on my face.
I went into Exam room 1 and got my ultrasound. It was rather uneventful. My lining was nice and thick and I quote Dr. Chang "that's good, your body is doing exactly what it should be." Then she looked at my ovaries. In comparison to last cycle the eggs (follicles) were a little on the small side, measuring mostly 8mm and 7mm. Last month I had 10,9, and 8's. Although it’s nothing to be concerned over. Everything was pretty measurable to our great cycle last month. My estrogen levels were a little raised but nothing to worry about there either. She raised my dosage to 116IU, same as last month and I have my next ultrasound/appointment on Saturday morning. I'm actually excited I don't have to go on a work day for once. It will be a nice little break. Since the follicles were on the smaller side, it's hard to say how many will grow and become dominant and which ones will stay small. On Saturday we should have a better idea of what we are working with. I am hoping for another 6 egg cycle. But I’m trying really hard not to dwell on it.
She anticipates our IUI to be late next week sometime. Thursday (CD14)- Saturday (CD16). I think judging how my body responded last cycle that it will be sooner than later. Then we will have a few days to do our "homework" with some timed intercourse just to cover our bases. Then we fly off to Florida for our Cruise to the Caribbean. I think it will be the most relaxing 2 week wait we could have. Then we will have our Beta blood test in Florida when we get off the boat on 12-13dpIUI. I will also bring some home pregnancy tests on board as well. Talk about the perfect setting for us to celebrate getting pregnant. :) Fingers crossed and lots of prayers being said.
Until next time.... a quote I think of often "I think that no child could be loved more, than one that was thought might never exist."
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