To my Sweet Pea,
Every day I long for the day I can finally hold you in my arms. I pray for you every night before I fall asleep. "Dear Lord, I don't know where my Sweet Pea is tonight. Or if he/she has even been born yet. As long as this road feels for me, I can only imagine how each night passes for my little Sweet Pea. Waiting for their mom and dad to sweep her/him up and hold them tight. To never let them go. Give them patience and calm their hearts knowing we are here waiting to bring them home."
Your dad and I have had a hard road to get to where we are now. Many tears have been shed and many more to come. Every tear that falls and how my heart breaks missing you, I know it will be worth it...... When I watch your dad hold you, kiss you, and make you laugh. When you take your first steps and shoot your first basketball. When I can tuck you into bed and stand in your bedroom doorway for a little while watching you sleep.
I miss you everyday you aren't with us. I can't comprehend why life has to be so hard sometimes. I hope that these lessons are preparing me for when you feel like life is just too hard. I can hold your hand and tell you that God has a plan in the darkest times. That you are proof of that plan and he will never give us more than we can handle.
I love you more than I could ever put into words. I am so lucky to be your mom, whenever that may be.
I want you to be funny and confident like your father. It seems no matter how far along in life you are, there is always someone who wants to tear you down. You can be and do whatever you set your mind to. We will always be there to support you and cheer you on. Be a hard worker and don't do the bare minimum. I want you to respect others and show kindness, it goes a long way in a world where common courtesy isn't often shown. I want you to be organised and clean like me, don't worry if these things seem boring and are a last priority at first. You should have seen my first apartment! I hope I can show you all the things you want to learn and that we are the kind of parents that you want to be someday. I'm sure if your dad was writting this he would want me to add a love for basketball, Nike and a huge Jordan shoe collection. Patriot pride, and of course the Oregon Ducks. We love you and are counting down the days until we can bring you home.
Love always and Forever,
Your Mommy
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